The correction fluid giant Wite-Out has reached a milestone this February: The brand is celebrating 60 years as the nail polish of choice for girls in study hall.
“Wite-Out isn’t about hiding mistakes, it’s about second chances and trying bold ideas without fear,” said spokesperson Reba Price. “And chief among these bold innovators are all of the 12-14 year olds who, throughout the ages, sat in study hall giving themselves chunky white manicures that their moms would later chastise them for.”
“We are grateful for your partnership, and continued support of the Wite-Out brand,” Price added.
In an increasingly digital age, many suspect that Wite-Out’s days are numbered, but the company holds out hope for a strong future.
“People try to claim that correction fluid is a relic of a bygone era,” said Price. “But look at middle schoolers and what do you see? Huge pencil cases. There’s still a demand for this product.”
“And furthermore,” she continued. “With more and more boys showing interest in painting their nails as a form of self-expression, or for attention from girls in study hall, or both, our consumer base has virtually doubled.”
What’s clear is that middle school remains a time in which students need to be preoccupied with a non-homework activity in study hall, and preferably one that they can look bored and detached while completing.
On this front, Wite-Out still blows the competition out of the water.
“Sure they could doodle, or just plug random equations into their calculators,” said Price. “But nothing beats a streaky, water-soluble manicure, and that’s why Wite-Out is the brand girls in study hall trust.”
The biggest threat to the Wite-Out nail polish tradition, according to Price, is smartphones.
“A kid on a phone is a kid who’s completely distracted,” she said. “That’s why we have to keep phones out of classrooms.”
“We don’t want our nation’s children distracted,” Price added. “We want them so desperate for distraction that they are eager to put a sticky white liquid on their nails.”
There’s a message we can all get behind. Here’s to 60 more years!
