Every time I get involved with someone new, things tend to get too intense too quickly. So when it came to dating my new guy, Peter, I decided to do things differently and let things progress on their own—you know, take things slow. I feel like it might be something special so we’re just taking our time and letting things happen naturally for like the next three or four days.
I really tried to keep things casual with the last guy I dated, but we just immediately started sleeping together and spent our whole weekends hanging out. In the end, things just got too serious way too fast, and we had to break it off. I don’t want to do that again, so that’s why my new guy and I have decided to give each other space and mitigate our impulses for about three or four days, at which point we’ll do whatever we want with reckless abandon, no matter the consequences.
Getting attached too quickly is an easy trap to fall into; I’ve seen it happen to my friends a million times. They meet someone on Tinder or through a friend and because dating is such a slog, they glom onto anyone they feel a spark with. I think it’s much better to take it slow for less than a week, just enough time for that approach to not actually work. I’m not trying to be judgmental—that’s just my opinion, and what I plan to do with Peter until next Tuesday or Wednesday.
It’s not that I think that you can’t have a healthy relationship if you have sex early on, but there’s a certain level of expectation that comes with it. I ultimately think it’s better to ease into a serious relationship, getting to know each other and communicating boundaries and preferences along the way. Like yesterday, when I told Peter that I want to do this right and schedule dates like mature adults and then, before the week is out, completely abandon that plan and have an emotionally confusing booty call that lasts three full days and potentially spoils the future of our relationship.
Isn’t that admirable, kind of?
I advise anyone who’s getting into a relationship to follow my lead and make a pointed effort to take things slow. Then just give up after three or four days and go crazy. You’re going to love it—and hate it!
