No matter what stage of life I’m in, I believe in living life to the fullest. But I was also brought up to believe that marriage is a sacrosanct holy union between two people that must be honored, and waiting until marriage is very important to me. That’s why I’m waiting until my wedding night to do literally anything at all.
I know what people are thinking. You “only get one life” and it’s meant to be “lived” and not “thrown away for no legitimate reason.” But I’m not phased. I believe that if the marriage bed should be kept holy, pretty much everything else should be kept holy as well. Why should I hold off on sex before marriage, when I could also throw in dating, getting a job, and experiencing any meaningful aspect of human life? When I meet my husband, I want to be a blank slate, with zero life experiences or opinions that might possibly color our beautiful matrimony. Otherwise, none of it will feel special, you know? Some things are just worth the wait – like eating a good steak, talking on the phone, or going outside.
Everyone has the right to choose for themselves whether or not they want to essentially be a waste of flesh until the right one comes along, but I want my first time experiencing anything the world has had to offer me for years to be special. I haven’t bought a lottery ticket, or had alcohol, or graduated high school. I haven’t even made a friend yet, because my husband will be my friend. Think of it this way: It’s almost like I’m not even alive. Even if you don’t agree, you have to admit that’s beautiful!
When people ask me questions about it, I like to explain it like this: I’m like Sleeping Beauty waiting for her prince to come, except I’m fully awake, just sitting there. Staring. It’s been 28 years. I guess you could say I’m a romantic!
No judgment toward anyone else who feels differently, this is just my personal choice. I chose to hold out on developing a relationship with my siblings, learning how to drive, or creating even one memory. Really hope my future husband is impressed and humbled so this hasn’t all been for naught!
There’s no shame in existing upon this earth like 100% of the rest of the population does, but I just don’t want there to be any reason for my future husband to feel like I cheated him, and I’m certain that when he finds out I’ve been living in my parent’s attic with a child’s level education waiting for his proposal, he’ll know we’re forever. So if you want to free me from my life that most closely resembles a sensory deprivation tank, you’ll have to please I beg of you – put a ring on it first!
