Curtain bangs are back with a vengeance, and not just because they’re flattering on every face shape. Ever since quarantine, it’s been hard to get out there and be social in the same way I was before, and that’s why I ultimately cut my own curtain bangs – I can just draw them shut when I’ve had enough social interaction for the day.
Ever since I cut my own bangs, I’m doing better than ever. Now I can go to my local coffee shop and when my barista says something like, “Hey, I like your hair!” and I can say “Thank you!” then politely draw my bangs shut and wait for my cortado in peace.
And when I start work on Zoom, sometimes I’ll get a little bored, or tired, or I just don’t want to contribute. But I can still totally be at the meeting with my bangs drawn, and nobody will ask me any questions. Sure, the first few times they’d be like “Jane, what are you doing?” and “Jane are you okay?” But now, if they can’t see my eyes, they just go, “Oh, Jane’s stepped out for a bit” and carry on.
Seriously, I don’t know why everyone doesn’t get bangs!
Even in my own household, having long bangs that can entirely shut out reality really has its benefits. For example, when I’m having a difficult conversation with my roommates, or if I’ve done or said something pretty obviously wrong or bad, instead of apologizing I can just say, “I’m closed for business” and shut my bangs and that conversation is immediately over. I don’t even have to leave the room! Usually, my roommates will leave first because they’re scared.
And if I see something I don’t like happening outside (I call anything happening outside of my body “outside”), I just draw those curtains and close the blinds (I call my eyes “blinds”) and like a good neighbor, hope it goes away eventually. This, to me, is self-care!
So if you feel like social anxiety has become a bigger problem for you lately, try getting the most fashionable, long, side-parted bangs to make you look super hot, and also be able to socially close up shop without ever having to leave the room. It will change your life!
