Why I Don’t Believe in Astrology Unless It Reaffirms Something I Already Thought

woman smiling

I was raised in a pretty secular household. So, when I moved to the big city after college and walked around the trendy boutiques of gentrified neighborhoods, I scoffed at their offerings of $20 crystals and horoscope jewelry. I can proudly say I’m a staunch contrarian to divinatory pseudoscience – unless I happen to browse an astrology reading that aligns with something I already believe or validates a part of my existence.


My astrology-minded friends tell me I’m such a Virgo for being so pragmatic, but whatever – I’ve read up about Virgos and not all of it describes me. Astrology.com says Virgos are workaholics and that’s so not true, I constantly wish I could quit my job! But it did say Virgos are curious and problem-solvers, which I so am, so maybe there is some validity to this? After all, even a broken clock is right twice a day. (It also said Virgos love idioms and use them frequently, which I do!)


Don’t even get me started on daily horoscopes – most of them are just vague fortune-cookie prophecies that could apply to anything. Except for that one time I was having the absolute worst day – I misscheduled a few “important” meetings and everyone was so mad at me – but I swear it wasn’t all my fault! When I was complaining about it to my friend later, she said my life was so chaotic at the moment because one of my natal planets was in retrograde today or something. And that made so much sense! So duh, I wasn’t “absolutely incompetent at my job” like my boss said, my Venus was just in a bad transit!



However, I don’t pay attention at all to “star sign compatibility” – how could the time and place you were born affect how well you get along with someone? Although, I don’t fuck with Libras anymore – not after the last guy I was seeing ghosted me after two months because he “wasn’t feeling it.” I should’ve known we weren’t going to work out – I looked it up afterwards and apparently our stars signs are like oil and water. So yeah, Josh, of course you weren’t feeling it – Libras are toxic to Virgos! It wasn’t because you were looking “for something more casual,” our signs are literally just too close to each other.


So no, I don’t really believe in astrology, but there must be some merit to it because there’s always some sort of astrological explanation to why I’m feeling a certain way or why my life is going a certain direction. And sometimes, I need that external celestial validation to justify when I feel like I’m going crazy. But maybe that’s just Virgo things!