White Guy Excited to Burn Down the System and Also Control the Rebuilding Effort

In developing news out of a Pittsburgh, PA, socially distanced dinner party, local white man Nick Stephens reports that he can’t wait to burn the system to the ground, mainly so he can fully take charge of replacing it.


“With everything going on our world, from extreme economic inequality to the fight for social justice, it’s clear that we need to tear everything down and rebuild from the ground up. And I know exactly how to do it,” says Nick, who’s listened to a lot of Joe Rogan.


Nick is thrilled to see others pushing to demolish racist and sexist institutions but is more thrilled to discuss how he would supervise replacing it.


He explained further, stating, “I’m so excited that people are ready to destroy these unequal power structures, primarily because I’m ready to tell them what the new power structures should look like.”


He added: “I’ve listened to a lot of podcasts about this.”


As a white philosophy major at Dickinson College, Nick believes in fully destroying these systems, so long as he decides what the new system looks like.


Friends of Nick comment that when he discusses this possible revolution, he spends the majority of it extensively outlining how he, specifically, would create and head up this new, more just, government. Erica, his roommate, added, “honestly, Nick only became a passionate supporter of ‘burning it down’ when he realized that he wanted to decide what would replace it all.”


At recent marches, Nick has been heard shouting, “burn it down!” while excitedly telling fellow protesters about his plans to build up better structures in its place. In one interaction, he remarked, “I can’t wait to dismantle racist, sexist, and colonial structures that prevent true equality! Once that happens, I’ll take the lead and figure it out from there.”



As the fellow marcher turned away, Nick offered to send him a blog post that discussed what his personal life experiences have taught him about the necessity of tearing down inequal power structures.


“We have to demolish these systems led by old white men, and replace them with systems led with the fresher younger take of someone like me,” Nick added thoughtfully, taking a sip of Coke.


He ended by telling others not to worry because he promises he won’t run it like the last white guy. “I know us ‘white guys’ screwed it up last time, but that won’t be me when I’m in charge.”