Straight people may not be good for much, but they’re good for even less when they can’t even get being straight right. Do you have a predominantly queer friend group, but one token straight friend who you keep around for balance and to laugh at the foibles at heterosexuality? Well, there’s a good chance (especially if all their friends are queer) that your only “straight” friend might be harboring bendy desires. It’s everyone’s right to live their truth, but whatever your friend will gain by taking on the mantel of bisexuality is your direct loss. Here’s how to deal with this major setback.
Be kind to them.
Being kind and supportive of your bisexual friend might be the last thing you want to do after they’ve thrown everything out of whack by no longer being the resident straight guy or girl in the group. However, it’s so important that you show them acceptance and love, because if you don’t, they’ll have a “traumatic coming out story” and be even more annoying about their newfound bisexuality. Why would they do something so inconsiderate to you personally? It’s a mystery, but you can’t let it get the best of you.
The next most important thing you can do for your friend is to replace them. Find someone really straight but not so straight that they’re probably gay. Once you and your freshly out bi friend are making fun of your new straight friend together for his weird courting rituals and the behavior of his people on reality TV, you’ll be on the right track for forgiving them for abandoning their post.
Repeat the cycle.
If your replacement straight also comes out because most people are at least a little bi and much more likely to question their compulsory heterosexuality while keeping social company with a bunch of queers, then welcome them to the family and restart the cycle. The only way you can avoid this is if you start hanging out with a bunch of straight people, but you don’t want to do that (not because then you’ll be tokenized, but because you have heterosexuality jammed down your throat enough in this world without seeking out extra).
All friends should be loved and cherished, but token straight friends can be snatched away in the blink of the eye. So hold them close and support them, but don’t make them feel so supported that they start exploring their sexuality. Good luck managing these wildcards!