‘What Our Nation Needs Is Love and Understanding,’ Says Woman Not Registered to Vote

The solution to America’s political problems is love and understanding, according to Houston resident Mary Lark, who is not currently registered to vote for any party in this year’s presidential election.


“I’ve just been absolutely torn up by the vitriol and anger that’s overtaken our nation. Our fellow citizens have closed off their minds and hearts,” says Lark, who is willingly disengaged from the political system. “Why won’t everyone just stop arguing and listen to each other?”


According to reports, Lark came to this conclusion after seeing the despair that both Democrats and Republicans shared on Twitter.


“Democrats are screaming to vote for Clinton. Republicans are screaming to vote for Trump. But we’re all too busy screaming to truly understand one another,” explains Lark, who isn’t exactly sure when Election Day is.



Friends are frustrated with Lark’s pleas for unity.


“I unfollowed her on social media months ago,” sister Camilla Lark explains. “There are only so many fucking times you can see memes of people and animals hugging.”


“Mary’s so busy telling us what to do, yet she won’t take five minutes to fill out a ballot,” friend Gabriella Hernandez says. “Does she think we just shouldn’t have an election?”


When asked why she’s not registered to vote, Lark says she doesn’t like “the system” because it “stifles human interaction” and “emphasizes discord.”


“Why do we have two political parties in direct opposition?” Lark says. “We should have as many parties as there are colors—and then we should throw that many parties and everyone should have some cake. That’s how we solve racism.”


Lark says she won’t be reading any more articles about the presidential race, but does plan to hold a “Purple Party” where those voting red and blue come together and sing “What the World Needs Now” together in a circle in many languages that will hopefully span across the globe.


“The only thing we can do in these troubling times is to love each other,” Lark says. “At least that’s the only thing I’ll be doing.”