As social distancing measures took hold across the country, Tanya Weathers of Cambridge, Massachusetts successfully completed her transformation from an unconvincing “We should get drinks sometime!” friend into an unconvincing “We should video chat sometime friend!”
Known for running into distant acquaintances on the street and making half-hearted commitments to hanging out and catching up soon, Tanya has adapted her lifestyle to fit the new requirements of social distancing.
“I haven’t seen you in forever! Let’s definitely facetime or something. Maybe Saturday or Sunday?” Tanya texted to multiple people she hadn’t seen in a year.
Reports show there was no communication on Saturday or Sunday.
Those on the other side of Tanya’s efforts struggled to see the purpose of her efforts.
“I just don’t see why she feels the need to text me once a month. We haven’t talked in a year, so why would we start talking again over shitty wifi?” says Rachel Veritone, a girl Tanya was good friends with in 9th grade.
“I don’t even think she wants to talk. She never follows up,” said Paris Leon, a former summer camp friend with whom Weathers has made three unattended Zoom dates.. “She needs to look herself in the mirror and ask herself what is going on.”
“Maybe we could even have a drink over Zoom! That would be so fun,” Tanya was last seen texting.
Subsequent efforts for follow-up with Weathers were met with no response.
