Ugh: Mom Was Right

In a surprising turn of events, it looks like your mom was actually right about something you thought she wasn’t.


Sources are surprised at how annoying this actually is.


Earlier today when you were on the phone with your mom, you told her that you were going on a date tonight and she told you to “wear a jacket and comfortable shoes”, even though you were planning on wearing a crop and heels instead.


“I obviously had an entire outfit planned,” you said. “So of course I thought she didn’t know what she was talking about.”


According to reports of you later dining outside in 50-degree weather, she definitely did.


Events turned from bad to worse when your Hinge date, Andreas Durand, suggested taking a walk on the Brooklyn Pier and you went along with it because this was the best date you’d been on in months, besides how uncomfortable you were during the whole thing.


“She was cool,” Andreas told us. “But she seemed kinda closed off halfway through the date. I hope I didn’t say anything weird.”


Little did Andreas know, not only were you freezing cold, but after walking for half an hour on a wooden pier in stiletto heels, you also felt like your legs were going to give out at any moment.


“I just can’t believe my mom was right all along,” you said. “How did I not see this coming?”


When reached for comment, your mom was happy to give her insight on the situation.


“My daughter never listens to me,” your mom told us. “Even though my record of telling her the right things is unimpeachable.”


Unfortunately for you, our fact checkers confirmed that your mom has always been right when telling you you’re going to be cold, hungry, tired, or unable to find parking on that street.


“Anyway, I figure that I should keep telling her anyway,” your mom added. “Maybe someday it’ll stick.”



Probably not, but who knows!


At press time, you were home alone and wrapped in a blanket while icing your fucked up feet.


“Next time I’ll wear a jacket,” you said. “But I’m still not gonna wear comfortable shoes. Like… c’mon.”