Reports coming from Raleigh, NC state that the tree outside of Jamie Albrecht’s window honestly kind of seems like it’s flirting?
Albrecht says she started noticing about three weeks into quarantine.
“There’s a tree right outside my bedroom that I look at every day,” said Albrecht. “But recently, I don’t know. Maybe it’s the breeze or the newly blooming flowers but I really think that tree is like, showing off for me.”
Albrecht, who has been in her apartment for 27 days, is single and does not have a roommate.
“It’s been a lot of alone time, which has been difficult,” said Albrecht. “But I guess I’m not totally alone, because I have Mrs. Tree–– I mean, I have a nice view.”
Friends of Albrecht have noticed she is dressing nicer during their Zoom hangouts.
“We do an occasional virtual Happy Hour,” said friend Mebane Jackson. “And we’re all in like, sweats with our hair in buns. But recently Jamie’s been showing like, a lot of cleavage.”
Friends also say she’s been referencing the tree frequently.
“She kept being like, ‘do y’all like my view?’” said friend Omar Kouri. “And yeah it’s a nice view. But then she leaned in and whispered, ‘I think that tree is flirting with me.”
“And okay, honestly? I don’t disagree,” added Kouri. “Look at those blooms.”
Other friends have also noticed the tree’s flirtations.
“I don’t mean to sound crazy,” said Jackson. “But it does seem like the tree was trying to get her attention during the call. It kept like, grazing against the window. No, no – what am I saying?”
But Albrecht holds strong to her theory.
“Obviously, obviously I wouldn’t have sex with a tree,” said Albrecht. “But everyone likes to flirt now and then.”
The tree, a Magnolia, was planted in the neighborhood a long time ago. But neighbors have noticed a recent change in its appearance.
“That tree across the street? Yeah it’s always been pretty,” said neighbor Jerry Smith. “But wow, now that I look at it, it’s kind of sexy?”
The tree did not provide comment but did sort of sway sexily in the wind.
