In the latest tragedy out of Brooklyn, NY, resident Eva Fadiman checked her weather app this morning, saw that there was an 87% chance of rain, but sadly did not think it was serious.
Now it’s pouring rain, and Eva does not have an umbrella, a rain jacket, or even a cardboard box to cover her head. Sources confirm she is wearing family heirloom suede shoes that specifically cannot get wet.
“Who could have predicted this?” Eva asked reporters.
According to reports, the weather app, several news outlets, and one sage old woman on the bus all saw this coming.
“Sure, a weird old lady walked on this morning and said, ‘It’s going to pour today, huh? Probably around three.’ But that could mean anything! I thought it was a funny bit!”
Meteorologists across the tri-state area have been warning of an oncoming storm for several days, and sources confirm that when Eva woke up this morning, ominous gray clouds had already rolled in.
“Yeah, this morning was cozy,” Eva said. “All dark, and thunder was rumbling in the distance. But now I’m caught in the rain? What an unexpected turn this day has taken!”
Eva’s roommate LG even tried to warn her: “As she was leaving, I reminded her it was going to rain, but she laughed and said, ‘Sure…’ like it was some sort of inside joke. I even handed her an umbrella, but she just laughed harder, mimed the dance from Singing in the Rain, then set it on the counter. She does know it’s going to rain, right?”
Eva confirmed she finds umbrellas “heavy” and “useless.”
“When would I never need an umbrella? It barely ever rains,” she yelled to reporters over the sound of the now-torrential downpour. “And when it does, it’s over in, like, 15 minutes.”
Many reputable weather forecasters have reported that the storm will likely last for three days.
At press time, Eva was seen checking the weather app for tomorrow, which suggested more rain. She then invited 11 of her friends to an outdoor picnic.
