Look the fuck out, world, because here comes Shira Blicksilver, the new rabbi! She’s a rabbi, she’s a mother, and she’s killing BOTH these full time jobs at the same damn time. Here’s how:
Shira gets the twins ready for after school soccer AND prepares for Friday Shabbat services.
Cleats: check. Wild Cherry Capri Sun: check. The blessing of candles on Shabbat: triple check. Rabbi Blicksilver (AKA “Mom”) preps her boys for the game and her congregation for 24 hours of rest and reflection in the same damn evening. “I tell my congregants, ‘You’re all my kids to me!’ Because that is how I feel.” Slay, Shira; SLAY!
Shira lows the shofar when waking her kids in the morning.
This is some serious multitasking. Brushing up on those shofar skills with the New Year just around the corner WHILE getting the family up and at ’em. “These kids are impossible to get out of bed, so I need all the help I can get! Plus, it helps me train for next year’s Tekiah Gedolah.” Game = KILLED.
Shira schedules playdates with Matthew Kaufman’s mom while overseeing a bris.
Navigating a crazy schedule when you’re a mother of four is hard enough. But try doing all that on top of leading a baby’s circumcision ceremony. Rabbi Blicksilver’s got that shit on lock! Right after the trays from Ben’s go out, she sneaks into her playgroup’s iCal and switches things around to accommodate Matthew’s fencing lesson. “I have a great relationship with the mohel and with my son’s friends’ parents!” says Rabbi Blicksilver, who looks amazing in her new cardi from Coldwater Creek. Rabbi Mom strikes again!
Shira writes an incredible sermon addressing the Israeli-Palistinean conflict and STILL finds the time to dress up in a fun witches’ costume and hand out candy on Halloween.
Fun, hilarious, AND understanding of the nuances of a centuries-long conflict. Shira appeals to reformers, zionists, and the neighborhood kids with her dairy-free Reese’s cups! “If you think I’m good at Halloween, you should see what I do for Purim!” says Shira. “No really, you should see our Purim. Have you considered becoming a member?” Nailed it!!!
Shira hosts the annual cross-country team sleepover THE DAY AFTER her congregation’s Passover food drive.
Why is this night different from all other nights? No bedtime, that’s why! Shira keeps it kosher with plenty of matzah pizza leftovers, and even surprises the gang with cashew butter macaroons. How does she have time to do it all? She should only have enough energy for one night, but it somehow miraculously lasts for eight nights! “That’s the wrong holiday,” says Shira. “You should come to temple more often!” Hahaha OMG slay Rabbi Mom!
Shira pays two different Shiva calls and still finds time to finish Noah’s costume for the play?!
No big deal for Shira. A quick dash over to the Epsteins. A brief stop at the Rubins. And two hours later she’s sewing the final sequins on a spicy fedora. Not to mention she got in a quick power walk to, as she puts it, “keep [my] FitBit happy.” Talk about MURDERING THESE HOES. Shira slay!!!!
With coffee in one hand hand, and blueprints for a new gym that include a climbing wall in the other, Rabbi Shira Blicksilver is suh-lay-ing the game!!! Yas rabbi queen!!!
