Third places – places outside of work or home that facilitate interactions with people in your community – are a crucial element of our society. However, in the US, they are becoming more and more rare. Specifically, third places where people can gather and connect for free are rapidly disappearing. It’s for this reason that I decided to take it upon myself to search for new ones. First stop: the sewers.
Exploring the sewers was a great, inexpensive way to connect with my community. Waste water data is super informative!
However, it quickly became clear that many people aren’t open to the third places that aren’t already available to them. They want “libraries to be open on the weekends” and “to exist in public without having to pay money.” To which I say: think bigger, folks! Think: the sewers.
Contrary to what society will tell you, third places don’t need to be “socially acceptable” or “habitable for humans.” They can be anything you want them to be! In this case, underground.
Although the sewers have everything I’m looking for in a third place (rats, a constant fear of being discovered), I can recognize that they might not be for everyone. If you’re less into moist walls and dead air, other third places you could try out include: fire escapes, holding onto the bottom of a room service cart like you’re a spy, and graveyards (specifically, being dead and buried in the ground).
Similarly, some third places I tried out and found lacking that you should avoid at all costs include: standing too long in one place on the sidewalk (illegal), reading a book at a bookstore without buying it (illegal), and being outdoors without your wallet (illegal).
And while chilling in the library might be a better way to spend your time than crawling around in the sewers, the library doesn’t present you with the opportunity to accidentally mutate into something weird. What better way to connect with your community than drinking radioactive sludge and growing gills with that neighbor you always see but never talk to?
Ultimately, the sewers are the best third place if we want to morph into ultra-powerful human-creature hybrids, overthrow the NYPD, and join the rats in their fight to take over New York City. At least until summer rolls back around, in which case I’ll probably just hang out at the park.
