The Coziest Seats to Show White Women as They Explain Racism to You

In this political climate people seem to be starting dialogues on racism more frequently than ever, and white women may get overeager about explaining these issues to you—a woman of color—as though you don’t have an articulate enough grasp on your own struggles. While that occurs, encourage them to sit down. Here are the coziest seats you can show them as they explain racism to you.


Fuzzy Ottoman

A fuzzy ottoman makes a comfy seat to show your co-worker Kaitlyn as she explains how much other white people suck, as if she’s not one of them. Guide her to this place of rest while she speaks over you, complaining about the way they keep gentrifying the neighborhood she moved into after graduating from Oberlin with a degree in anthropology. She totally “gets” this issue as much, if not more than you! Encourage her to sit and remain seated here on this fluffy footstool so she can relax, instead of expending all her effort on explaining your experiences as a woman of color back to you. Great. Now you can get back to living your life without her point of view!


Mahogany Leather Recliner

A mahogany leather recliner should comfortably cradle this indie director on your “women in film” panel who’s decided she has a more qualified take on racism than you, a first generation Chinese-American. Gently assist her into a seated position as she talks about how much she respects the struggle of women of color, but ultimately believes they should only be promoted based on merit instead of diversity. With such a soft cushion she’ll fall asleep in no time so that she’ll continue her useless dialogue in her dreams. Shh! You definitely don’t want to wake her up.


Swivel Chair

A swivel office chair makes a fun seat for your college professor, who acknowledges the role white fear played in Trump’s win but continues to blame people of color anyway. Hold it out to her as she insists that the Left’s “moral panic” about racial and sexual identity ruined their ability to unify “all” Americans, by which she means specifically white Americans. And if she doesn’t get the hint she should be sitting, try demonstrating for her a few times by lowering, then raising your body in and out of the chair. She’ll eventually take a seat and feel weary from so much uninterrupted talking and then you’ll be free to leave the classroom.



Chaise Lounge

A chaise lounge offers a cozy place for your friend Shannon to seat herself after she explains how her dressing like a geisha for Halloween was actually a “celebration” of Asian culture, not a mockery. While she insists you just didn’t understand her intent, take both her hands in yours and lead her to this gorgeous piece of Victorian-era furniture. Ah! Now she’s reclining peacefully, so you can slip away to a place where white women don’t assume you’re not as informed as them about your own traditions.


A great chair can really make a room complete, but it can also make an excellent seat for white women who try dominating the dialogue on the subject of your own race. They can take a seat in one of these chairs, or all of them, as long as they listen while they sit!