The Best Dating Profile Tips That Don’t Hold a Candle to Being Hot

It’s no secret that “the apps” can be a draining and dismal place. You’ve done your share of dehumanized swiping, and you know you’ve been on the other side, but if you’re looking to find a partner, or at least a real date, don’t despair! You can make your profile stand out among the masses with these game-changing tips that still don’t hold a candle to just being hot.


Be specific.

There’s only one you! So let your individuality glow by offering specific details about your interests and desires in your profile. There’s even more work to be done than simply not saying Larry David is your spirit animal (though it’s a start). What show can you not stop watching? What restaurant have you been dying to go to? These details can help potential suitors feel if you’re someone they’d be interested in getting to know, though of course the best way is to be stunningly hot. Ideally, you’ll be hot in a way that checks conventional boxes, but also a charming birthmark on a perfect face, for instance. This will really help you!


Let your friends pick your photos.

It’s hard to be the judge of your own photos, so let a close friend tell you which ones really make you shine. Did you know that people are less likely to match with someone whose pictures are all selfies or mirror pics? Of course, if you’re incredibly hot, then that alleged statistic is irrelevant. A stunningly attractive person can take as many selfies as they want; in fact, it’s a service for which fellow app users will be grateful! But if you’re just normal looking then go ahead and let your bestie tell you how far away pictures of you holding ice cream or hiking in a shadowy forest “showcase your personality.” Yikes!


Submit yourself to Queer Eye and hope that they choose you and make you hotter.

Couldn’t hurt!



Don’t post group photos.

Why make would-be dates struggle to figure out which person in the shot is the profile’s subject? But if you’ve got a face like an angel and a body for the gods, then you can actually do whatever you want. They’ll know which one is you; you’re the really hot one! Life is simple for you, and these tips don’t matter. But if not, just follow school picture rules or whatever: clear, bright, solid-colored shirt. You know, because you always looked so great in your yearbook…


So try these tips for a dating profile that simply can’t be passed by! Nothing is as effective as just having blessed genes, but your clever Hinge prompts are totally a close second. Good luck out there, buddy!