Taking Off Your Glasses and Other Ways To Be Your Best Self

To be your best self, you need to tap into your own innate goodness and draw it out for the whole world to see. It’s not an easy task, but rising to your potential is worth the work. If you’re not sure where to start, the answer might be under your nose. Or on your nose, because you’re wearing glasses and you should take those off. Below are some more simple ways you can start being your best self:


Take off your glasses.

We know what you’re thinking: “But I need my glasses to see.” To see what, guys walking away from your potentially best self? Strangers asking you for help with their science homework? Modeling agents telling you to get the hell out of their office? Trust us; you’re not missing anything except your best self. So take off your glasses and watch the compliments roll in! Well, you may not be able to watch them, but you’ll certainly hear them.


Let your hair down.

Don’t hide your hair in a ratty old ponytail! Let it down! But not in a relaxing way, that’s not what we mean. We mean let it down in an expensive, professional, steeped-in-harsh-chemicals way. You know, the best way.


Stop sabotaging yourself and make an appointment at the most expensive salon you can find for tomorrow. A gorgeous 24-year-old will soak your hair in formaldehyde, wrap it in tinfoil, blast it with heat, and sew other women’s hair into it, and it will cost about as much as a semester at a solid state school. You will do this once a week until you’re 45, at which point you can probably start wearing babushkas. We’re not worried about your best self at 45, though. We’re talking about now.


We know what you’re thinking: “That’s too expensive.” Yes, it’s expensive now, but you deserve it! And once you attract a man with a luxury car, a corner office, and a dysfunctional extended family, he’ll be paying for everything. So consider this an investment – in yourself.



Don’t hide yourself! Wear a bra as a shirt.

Wearing a shirt, like wearing glasses, blocks what guys find interesting about you. How is a guy supposed to see your true essence if it’s covered by a shirt? You need to step back, focus on your goals, and start wearing a longline bustier as a shirt.


We know what you’re thinking: “What if it’s winter?” Well, what if you’re 35, unmarried, and still living with roommates? Is that shirt keeping you warm or is it keeping you down?


Becoming your best self isn’t easy, but the confidence and the positive energy you’ll get will be worth the struggle. How do you know when you’ve become your best self? When the professional stylist spins you around to look in the mirror, and you no longer recognize the shirtless, glossy, blur in front of you, that’s when you know you’ve become your best self. Congratulations!