In triumphant news out of Brooklyn, NY, 24-year-old Malika Byers had enough of her landlord who never fixed anything in her unit. She was so fed up, in fact, that she tricked him into thinking she had a lawyer who would actually legally escalate the issue.
Yes, girl! Lie through your teeth!
“My landlord wouldn’t fix the leak in my living room ceiling for weeks, even though my roommates and I asked him, like, 20 times,” Malika said. “But when I finally said that I was going to get my lawyer involved, he sent the super to fix it in under an hour! I guess lying isn’t so bad after all.”
After successfully convincing her landlord that she had a real lawyer who she pays with actual money, Malika was on a roll.
“Now, whenever we have a problem with our apartment, I tell my landlord that I’m already on the phone with Eileen Woodworth, the lawyer I made up who’s loosely based on Elle Woods from Legally Blonde, and that we’re preparing to take him to small claims court,” Malika said. “It works like a charm! He’s really, really afraid of Eileen.”
Slay! Strike fear into that capitalist scum!
When asked how she came up with the brilliant, convincing lie that finally got her landlord to do his job, Malika revealed that it was actually quite simple.
“I originally got the idea from those parents who pretend to call Santa when their kids are being bad,” she said. “If they can do it, then so can I! Plus, landlords need to be disciplined once in a while or else they get too spoiled.”
So true! We love a good parenting hack!
According to the tenant, things have never been better in her apartment since she pulled off the scheme of a lifetime.
“I guess the threat of legal action just really gets through to people,” Malika said. “We never have any problems now! I’d strongly encourage every renter out there to lie about having a lawyer for their own protection, or just to make your landlord scared of you.”
Thank you for the wisdom, girlie!
At press time, Malika had moved to another apartment, a decision she made after her landlord wanted to speak to Eileen Woodworth on the phone.