Study Reveals Libraries Honestly Cool as Fuck

In a recent study published by scientists at Columbia University, libraries have been definitively recognized as “Honestly? Cool as Fuck.”


Dr. Thompson, who serves as director of the Literature Department, conducted the study and shared her thoughts on libraries with us.


“We systematically evaluated libraries based on vibes, rad levels, and general chillness,” Dr. Thompson said. “It turns out that a place with free books and tons of seating for you and your friends is pretty fucking cool.”



The team at Columbia found other factors that contributed to the “this shit slaps” rating of libraries.


“Local libraries have so many cool as hell amenities,” said Morgan Seller, one of the lead researchers on the team. “Reading clubs, sewing circles, 3-D printers, tool-lending libraries, language classes, career courses, pro-bono legal advice, museum passes, and entirely free collections of audiobooks. Suck on that, Audible.”


The scientific findings show libraries so cool they surpass the coolness level of rec centers, community theaters, and public parks combined.


“They’re a place for learning and community and are open to anyone and everyone. Plus some of them even have wine tasting nights,” Dr. Thompson said, her eyes welling up with tears of happiness.


We reached out to libraries for a comment but they were busy skateboarding off into the sunset while being one of the purest things humanity has ever created.