Researchers have conducted a study that proves, contrary to what your stylist led you to believe, your highlights appear chunky and unnatural and are fooling no one.
During the study, researchers showed 5,000 subjects a picture of you alongside a picture of Katie, who has natural honey blond highlights and has never dyed her hair in her life. Over 94% of participants thought Katie looked effortlessly cool, while 100% of participants thought your “clearly chemically-dyed hair” looked basic and lame.
“This study confirms the uneasiness you’ve been feeling toward your highlights since you got them,” says Dr. Lydia Otis, who monitored the results. “The hypothesis that your hair makes you look like a zebra with low self-esteem was definitively proven by our study.”
In the aftermath of the appalling results, those affected by the news (you) are left to weigh their options. Should you let the chunks of bleach simply grow out, or go back to your stylist to replicate your natural hue? “The majority of study participants presumed that going back to the same stylist would result in a shade that also looks tacky and unrealistic, that won’t even fool your uncle, who is legally blind,” says Dr. Otis.
“It was foolish of you to assume you could pull off such a complicated shade,” said one study participant, “but maybe this was exactly the reality check you needed before you opted for a truly irreversible aesthetic choice, like a rib tattoo, or a wedding.”
Dr. Otis’s team is already in the process of duplicating the study’s results, and she expects to have no problem doing so based on the lack of anybody being fooled. Now her team at the BAC Institute is working to obtain funding to study why you continue wearing that lipstick that makes you look so washed out.
