After months of receiving love letters, gifts, and periodically being followed home at night, 41-year-old dental hygienist Angela Simmons finally discovered the identity of her stalker: handsome 33-year-old postal carrier David McMurray.
“I mean, it doesn’t matter what he looks like. He’s a creepy, boundary-crossing stalker,” says Simmons, standing in front of a towering pile of unsolicited romantic gifts. “But yes, it was weird that he turned out to be pretty fucking hot,” she said, as she bit into a chocolate from her stalker for the first time in the several months she had been receiving them. “I’m just eating this because I’m hungry!”
McMurray, who looks like a cross between Jon Hamm and a young Cary Grant, admitted to following Simmons and sending her letters and gifts. His deposition to the police reads, “She’s lovely, generous, and warm, and also I know she recently separated from her husband because all of his mail was being forwarded to an apartment complex on the other side of town.” He continues, “She deserves someone who’s on her side for once.” His apartment was littered with clay sculptures of Simmons. “I can’t quite capture her essence and I think if she’d just let me get close to her…” he trailed off.
Simmons was relieved to finally know the identity of her stalker. “I’m definitely gonna press charges, or at the very least have him fired,” she says, spraying herself with an expensive perfume McMurray had placed in her mailbox the previous day. “But have you seen him? He looks like that picture of young Stalin.”
The quietly smouldering McMurray said he would not continue sending Simmons gifts if she didn’t want them. “I don’t want to upset her,” says the boyish hunk. “I guess I just wanted her to feel desirable.” McMurray then removes his postal carrier shirt due to the summer heat, revealing his glistening, tanned, muscled shoulders and biceps.
Simmons watched McMurray remove his shirt through her living room window. “Stalking is wrong and nobody should do it,” she said quietly, as she licked the chocolate from the corners of her lips. “I wonder where he lives.”
