In a developing story out of Minneapolis, MN, 29-year-old Thelma Jaxon says she has always been a proponent of “slow living”, in that she’s still discovering music from 2014.
“Have you guys heard ‘Trumpets’ by Jason Derulo?” she asked reporters out of nowhere. “Incredible song. I feel like I should be up at 7:30 a.m. driving to my history exam to that.”
Thelma attributes her slow music adopting habits to the fact that she never seeks out music on her own, only listens to what plays on the radio, and never likes a song upon first listen.
Now that’s slow living!
“Finding a new song is quite the process for me,” Thelma said. “I have to listen to it at least 1,000 times before I can even begin to enjoy it. Sometimes that takes years, and sometimes, perhaps, a lifetime.”
Other aspects of slow living that Thelma has integrated into her life include: not watching movies until they’ve been out for at least 10 years and only reading books that were already considered “classics” when she was in high school.
Yes! It’s so important to slow down and never engage with the media of your time!
In addition to ‘Trumpets’ by Jason Derulo, Thelma has also discovered – in the year 2024 – songs like “All About That Bass” by Meghan Trainor, “A Sky Full of Stars” by Coldplay, and “Happy” by Pharrell Williams.
That last one has become a point of contention for Thelma’s friends and family.
“I already had to listen to that damn song playing 24/7 in every public space when it was popular,” Thelma’s roommate Devin told reporters. “I don’t care if Thelma’s on a music discovery journey, I can’t go through that again. I just can’t.”
While Thelma didn’t fully understand Devin’s intense aversion to a song about being happy, she respected her friend’s boundaries and agreed to only listen to it using headphones.
“You can hear the claps better that way,” she said. “I love those claps and will never, ever get sick of them.”
As of press time, Thelma had, in fact, gotten sick of that song, but was still working her way through the hits of 2014. She had also – unknowingly – memorized all the lyrics to “Espresso” by Sabrina Carpenter simply from hearing it on social media. However, she still wouldn’t officially “discover” the song until 2075.
