In this dog-eat-dog world of the corporate workplace, it’s impossible to have it all. As a woman, you can either have fun hooking up with your coworker at every opportunity, or you can work hard at your chosen profession. So, when it comes to whether or not you’ll break several HR rules at once, what will you choose? No decision is the “right” decision when it comes to your career, or your love life. Ask yourself these questions to determine if you should make a move, or maybe just stick to the job that you are currently being paid to do:
Your Morning Routine
When you enter the office, do you walk to your cutest coworker’s desk to ask him if he wants to bone in the supply closet, or do you sit down at your desk and begin checking emails and doing all the work you have to do today? You have a lot of work that you know you need to finish by the end of the day, but you may also want to stop by your crush’s desk for a quick couple of hours before you lure him into the office kitchen for a marathon pounding. Knowing which use of your time you value more will help you prioritize your day and maybe not get fired.
An Afternoon Delight
Will you spend the afternoon thinking of ways to ask him to lick you or will you finish the work you are being paid to do? People are literally giving you money in exchange for the work you are doing, but in the short term you can still get the money while casually pulling up a porn site on his browser, with the sound off, even though his boss sits just five feet away. The first seems like the right thing to do, but the second is way more fun! Where do you want to be in five years, or right now?
Really Happy Hour
Do you use the office party as a chance to fuck your office crush, or do you use it as a networking opportunity for upward mobility? You’ve spent a lot of money buying new business cards, and this party is the perfect time to unveil them. You can either walk away alone with the possibility of a raise at the end of the night, or you can walk away with Josh, whose dick is fully visible through his Brooks Brothers pants.
Think About The Future
Congrats! You’ve been offered a better position at work. When the CEO tells you about the promotion, will you immediately have sex with him, or will you accept the offer and privately orgasm at home from excitement? Will you invite the CEO out to dinner to “thank” him, quietly giving him your address as if it is that of the restaurant, or will you smile politely at the job offer before ramming yourself hard at home? You should do the second one if you want to keep working there, but remember: The choice is yours.
If you’re not satisfied with your choice, you can always change your mind or just mull it over more while you’re getting fucked in the handicap bathroom.
