Expectations have never higher amongst cat owners for the novelty talents and potential internet virality of their pets. For cats devoid of noteworthy features, abilities, or deformities, there are few homes willing to take them in. As a result, thousands of talentless, run-of-the-mill cats have been filling shelters beyond capacity across the country. Crestfallen owners are bringing these pets to animal rescue centers at a staggering rate.
While returning her cat, Kitten McMitten-Face, to the very shelter from where she adopted him just weeks prior, Gracie Brown of Seattle said, “We got Kitten for his unusual look, but he can’t do anything. I even tried to make how he’s so boring a thing, but no one liked my videos of him napping.”
“We chose Steve Blobs because of his portly size and his overbite – figuring he’d be a shoe-in for Youtube,” says another disappointed former owner. “But he couldn’t deliver. We can’t afford to pay for his insulin shots until he books at least one national TV spot.”
Andy Dowds adopted his cat, Ruffy, in the hopes that he could train it to fetch and impersonate a dog. “Eventually I realized what I really wanted was a dog. I got one and named him Ruffy, in honor of Ruffy, who had to be put down when I returned her to the shelter.”
Rosalynn Edwards of the organization, A Home for Every Cat (AHFEC) says, “The viral cat craze was so helpful for adoption rates initially. But now, the levels of return to shelter are egregious.” Edwards adds, “They’re cats. Really, you should just be nice and love them for who they are. Also, you may need your cat to dial 911 for you at some point.”
