Want to look hot as hell post-coitus? No problem! Grab his top sheet, and confidently wrap it around your recently-fucked naked body just like you see women do in the movies. Oh, he doesn’t own a sheet because he’s an extremely lost 26-year-old who has no drive and refuses to accept the realities of adulthood? No worries, here’s how to sexily wrap yourself in a sheet after sex even though he does not own one.
Bring your own sheet.
Do you expect the dude you’re banging to have a top sheet? Instead of assuming he will own basic bedding staples, lower your expectations and come prepared next time. Don’t wrap yourself in a random floor t-shirt or quickly waddle to the bathroom. Just bring your own sheet! This way, you can look sultry and sexy and he’ll never have to face the fact that he’s living in a teenage boy’s excuse for a room. Now, he never has to grow up! Cool!
Buy him a sheet.
Why ask him to purchase a top sheet when you can use your hard-earned money to do it instead! Simply go out of your way to pick him up an expensive high-quality sheet for him to inevitably destroy by forgetting to wash it! At least you’ll have some filthy rag to wrap around your beautiful body after some mediocre sex! Wow, this is great and you’re out $40!
Wrap yourself in something else.
If there is no top sheet in sight, which there won’t be because your lame boyf has no idea what a top sheet is, just grab something else and sensually wrap yourself in that! Maybe put his DVD of Fight Club over your boobs and grab his soggy mildewed towel to put around your butt! He is perfect and definitely someone you should be having sex with!
Don’t fuck him anymore.
This option may not have occurred to you, which makes sense because you’ve never known a guy who has a top sheet. But the truth is, you don’t have to fuck this guy! Lol, just kidding, the boring sex and the lack of bedding is unfortunately part of why this guy is hot to you! Also, you’re pretty sure there is no man out there who regularly cleans his bedding!
Try these things when you’re looking to sexily cozy up in a sheet after sex, even though that is literally impossible because you just had sex on a stained mattress under a comforter that smells like feet! Men are perfect and they deserve to have sex with you!!