Some days are just made for lying in bed and being lazy. And not because your now ex-boyfriend Tim just decided to move to Seattle without you. It’s absolutely, definitely not about that, okay? Here are some totally unrelated and justifiable reasons for your “low-key weekend” that have nothing to do with breaking up with Tim:
Okay, it’s not the flu or anything. Something is just…off. It’s definitely not contagious, but you are sort of tired and under the weather. You’re definitely sick-ish. Just let everyone know you “feel gross” and thus are still in pajamas at 3:00 PM on Saturday.
Your Job is Stressful
You work hard! Of course you’re exhausted when the weekend rolls around. Sometimes a relaxing day doesn’t include pants, your toothbrush, or areas that aren’t the tear-stained left half of your bed. You and Tim used to have lazy Saturdays together all the time, but you’re totally not thinking about that because you’re too busy recuperating from work. Work work work!
It’s Too Rainy Outside
At least, it looks like it might rain. Why risk it? If you were in Seattle with Tim, you’d have to brave the rain all the time. But you’re not, so you can just stay right there under the covers.
It’s Too Sunny Outside
“It’s such a beautiful day!” your friends keep texting you. “Have brunch on a patio with us!” But skin cancer is a very real danger. Best to play it safe and stay in your bed with a pile of Tim’s t-shirts and Season 3 of Frasier.
You Have Your Period
Your cramps are so painful! You feel bloated and gross! All you want to do is stay in bed and eat potato chips. THAT’S WHY YOU’RE CRYING INTO A PILE OF TIM’S T-SHIRTS.
You’re Showing Solidarity with Your Bedridden Grandmother
Your grandmother hasn’t been able to get up and move around in months. Isn’t that sad? It’s terrible that she has to go through it alone, so you’re here to help (from three states away). Tell everyone you’re supporting Grandma as you curl up with a third bowl of ice cream. Grandma loves three bowls of ice cream.
You Can’t Stop Crying For No Reason
It was the weirdest thing. You woke up in the morning and burst into tears, and haven’t stopped since. You can’t think of any reason why it’s happening, so it’s probably just nothing. No one should see you like this. Stay in bed!
Getting up and facing the world is overrated, but you can justify avoiding that for days, even weeks. By the time you get out of bed, Tim might even be tired of Seattle, and you can make sure he knows you haven’t been pining over him – you’ve just been getting over literally anything else!