Last week, pop star Selena Gomez revealed that she received a kidney transplant earlier this summer. Many of her fans were relieved she had made it through the surgery, however Gomez’s other kidney expressed frustration that the new kidney hasn’t earned the right to live inside singing sensation Selena Gomez.
“I’ll come out and say that I think this new kidney didn’t earn its place here,” says Selena’s old kidney. “It just doesn’t sit right with me that it just waltzed in here and saved Selena’s life. I’ve been here for 25 years and no one’s thanked me for keeping her career going.”
The new kidney came from Francia Raisa, Gomez’s best friend, who is best known for starring in The Secret Life of the American Teenager. While Selena has expressed deep gratitude for her friend’s sacrifice, Selena’s old kidney feels like this new kidney doesn’t deserve to be here.
“I didn’t want to take sides, but this new kidney is a talker,” says the star’s pancreas. “We get it, you acted opposite Shailene Woodley! Who cares? We sing really well and executive produced 13 Reasons Why. Also, we’re dating The Weeknd and it’s hot.”
Despite the drama, things seem to be looking up for Gomez, who was spotted last week leaving her apartment in a floral dress and recently posted on Instagram about her new Puma partnership.
“These last few months have been really difficult but I finally feel so much healthier,” says Gomez. “I really needed to take that time for myself and recover as best I could. I guess I have my new kidney to thank for feeling 100 percent.”
Despite Gomez’s public gratitude to her new kidney, the old kidney is still honestly really pissed off.
“Being inside Selena Gomez is a whole new thing for me. It just feels like everyone has known each other for so long,” says the new kidney. “I know I came in here all of a sudden, but I also deserve to be here. I wish they thought that too.”
Sources confirm the new kidney misses being Francia Raisa’s kidney and cries itself to sleep most nights.