Startling news out of the American Institute of Musicology, where scientists have just discovered four previously unheard verses to Beyonce’s iconic dance anthem “Love on Top”, detectable only by dogs.
“No one could have anticipated this discovery,” Dr. Elizabeth Shipko, lead researcher on the project explained. “To my ears, ’Love on Top’ had ended but to my beagle Weezy’s ears, Beyoncé had just begun to demonstrate her vocal abilities.”
Despite the fact that humans believed they had heard all there was to hear in the hit single, Dr. Shipko realized something odd after bringing her elderly dog to work. While doing routine chord progression analysis on Beyonce’s 4th studio album “4”, Dr. Shipko noticed her beagle was wagging its tail even after the song had apparently ended.
“’Have we been missing out on this whole time?’ we asked ourselves,” said Dr. Shipko of the incident. “We had to dig deeper.”
Shipko and her team quickly assembled a sonic enhancer to allow everyone in the lab to hear frequencies outside of the standard human auditory range. Equipped with the enhancement devices, they made the amazing discovery.
The team of scientists described the experience.
“What a groundbreaking discovery for sound scientists everywhere,” said researcher Gary Eshelman. “We can only describe Queen Bey’s hidden verses as a rare taste of sonic nirvana.”
“I am thrilled that this means some of our favorite Yonce songs might have undiscovered finales,” said another researcher Lara Blazman. “This is also very exciting for the clurbs.”
When reached for comment, Beyonce’s reps responded with an official statement:
“This does not surprise us, but this does thrill us.”
“We’ll let you know what we find when doing a second analysis of ‘If I Were A Boy,’” said Dr. Shipko. “But it’s safe to say, ‘Bow down, bitches.’”
