Russia Collusion Somehow The ‘First Straw’ With Uncle Dan

Dayton, OH residents were shocked to find that Michael Flynn’s ties to Russia were somehow the “first straw” for Uncle Dan, regarding the Trump administration.


“Everyone was just overreacting to Trump,” says Uncle Dan who was a fan of the Muslim Ban and building a border wall with Mexico. “But this is strike one, and now I’m paying attention.”


When reminded about Trump’s past behavior, such as admitted sexual assault, mocking a disabled reporter, unprecedented and unconstitutional executive orders and a botched raid in Yemen, Uncle Dan for whatever reason reports feeling that “…people were making a big deal out of nothing.”


“Yeah, he ‘made fun’ of a disabled reporter. That was a joke,” Uncle Dan contends. “But this Russia thing? I’m starting to think this isn’t a perfect presidency.”


Close family members were the first to call in the shift in attitude.


“The national security breaches, the conflicts of interest, and the unethical nature of so many of his businesses… I mean, these were all straws to me,” reports Dan’s niece, Judy. “But somehow, Russia is the first time he seems to think anything might be wrong.”


Records indicate that Uncle Dan showed glimmers of suspicion about Trump’s fitness for the presidency when he staffed his administration with several former Goldman Sachs employees, despite his claims of wanting to “drain the swamp,” but he ultimately wrote the damage off as inconsequential, especially compared to Hillary’s emails.


“Sure, he’s pretty loose with what comes out of his mouth,” states Uncle Dan. “But this whole Russia thing? I’m starting to worry this is not what I voted for!”


Other family members state they feel Uncle Dan’s concerns about the executive branch’s ties with Russia seem “random.”



“Of all the horrible things Trump has done, why Russia?” Dan’s sister, Karen, asks. “ICE just deported a mother away from her children, but that didn’t seem to mean anything to Dan.”


When asked about how the recent scandal affects his thoughts on the future of the Trump Administration, Uncle Dan states: “It’s starting to seem like there might be something to this Russia collusion story. But then again, there might not be.”