REPORT: Person in the Bathroom Stall Next to You Clearly Typing on Laptop

In breaking news out of Indianapolis, IN, the person in the bathroom stall next to you is very clearly typing on a laptop for some reason?

 

The incident began in the coworking space bathroom with a few errant keystrokes, which you first assumed could have just been the sound of some other kind of sound emanating from the toilet next to you.

 

But after confirming the presence of feet, it became clear that someone was typing something earnestly on a laptop for several minutes while trying to poop.

 

“At first I was like, oh, maybe they had to shoot out a really quick email,” you said. “But then I realized, no, this is probably a very long email, or maybe a manifesto.”

 

 

Several people entered and exited the bathroom while this person continued typing very obviously on their laptop.

 

“I noticed brief pauses between typing, which I thought was due to some serious thought about a very important, secret message that couldn’t possibly be sent in their office,” you said. “But then I heard the poop and was like, oh, they’re just multitasking.”

 

At press time, the person was still in the stall typing as you washed your hands for a full 30 seconds and left.