In a recent report I conducted after looking for a new profile picture, an overwhelming amount of evidence suggests that people don’t take enough candid and beautiful photos of me.
Fortunately, I was able to sit down with close friends and family members to get to the bottom of this disturbing discovery.
“I take candid photos of you all the time,” my boyfriend Marvin told me. “You just never like any of them.”
However, despite Marvin’s statement, my own research shows that all of these pictures made me look super ugly, and I’d never post any of them even if my life depended on it. But it’s still sweet that he does it or whatever, I guess.
I also spoke with my close friend, 22-year-old Angela Marks, about why she’s never taken a decent candid photo of me in all our eight years of friendship.
“That’s just not really my thing,” Angela said. “I suck at taking pictures.”
This statement was especially interesting because Angela posted a great candid pic of our mutual friend Erin less than a month ago, but it’s been confirmed that I wouldn’t hold that against her or anything.
When looking at the raw data, I found that while there were over 50 photos of me on my Instagram grid, only two of them were candid, and only one of those two was an actually good photo of me.
The solution to this problem is clear: Everyone in my life needs to start taking more pictures of me when my makeup is done, the lighting is good, and I’m “not aware that my photo’s being taken.”
My own studies show that taking a good candid photo of me isn’t that hard, so why don’t I have more of them?
“Maybe you need more photographer friends,” my mom reported. “That way they’ll always be taking pictures of you.”
While this may be true, finding photographer friends is easier said than done, and this still isn’t a good excuse for why my mom hasn’t taken any good candid pics of me since I turned thirteen years old.
But even though my friends and family haven’t taken nearly enough beautiful candid photos of me, that doesn’t mean I’m going to give up on them. We just have a lot of work to do.
