REPORT: Dream Means Exactly What You Think It Means

According to a recent study out of Quinnipiac University, that, yes, dream you had last night means exactly what you think it means.


That’s right – that fantastical scenario involving you sliding down a staircase does in fact prove that you want to have sex with Joe but are anxious about the fact that he’ll reject you.


“As soon as the results started to come in, we knew,” says lead researcher Dr. Abigail Cox. “And deep down, we knew you knew, too.”


The study also found that, yes; whatever meaning you found in your dream is probably the thing you should be focusing on.



“In 100% of cases, subjects knew what they dream was about on their first guess,” the study states. “The dream was never about something that the dreamer did not think it was about.”


“People act like the connection between their high school basketball coach being in a dream and their recurring issues with authority figures is just a weird coincidence to ignore,” says Cox. “But that’s because they don’t want to acknowledge that this is exactly what that dream is telling them. Let’s be real; this is just you talking to yourself.”


So the next time you have a dream and think to yourself, “Is this about my dad?” yes, of course it fucking is.