Karla Bond, an employee at Tokel Asset Management in Newport NJ, was incredibly relieved this Friday to find out that the mistake that has completely upset the culture of her company was not, in fact, her fault.
“There was a misallocation of funds, and now they’re gonna have to lay off a lot of people,” Karla said. “Thankfully I’m not one of them. And most importantly I’m so fucking glad I wasn’t the one who fucked it all up.”
Many of Bond’s work friends will be affected by the mistake, with some leaving the company abruptly without severance, and some suffering reduced hours, but Bond is breathing a huge sigh of relief knowing she is not the one who caused this huge fucking mistake.
“I mean, can you imagine? I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night,” she says.
Bond had a stomach-dropping moment after the news initially broke, wondering if she had left a strategy-defining typo in an email or send along the wrong confidential spreadsheet to a client.
“We’re all really upset about it, but equally glad that we didn’t cause this shitstorm,” says Bond’s desk mate, Venessa Parker. “It just seemed so unfortunate and easily preventable if someone had just been doing their job correctly.”
“Not me though,” explains Bond. “That’s not even my department. Those guys must feel awful though.”
By the end of the all-hands meeting in which the CEO woefully explained the effects on the company at length, Bond was heading out for a break.
“I’m just gonna get some fro-yo and like, be grateful for a minute. Whew!”