So, you’re in a new relationship, and your boyfriend is asking for fashion tips. You’re tempted to encourage him to tame that unruly mop of hair – maybe even shave it! – but you’ve heard horror stories of men shaving their heads and suddenly giving off a completely different vibe. Take this quiz to find out if your beau would be hotter with a shaved head or if it would awaken something dormant and evil – perhaps even militaristic – in him!
What’s your boyfriend’s natural temperament?
- He’s so sweet! I never ask him to kill bugs around the house, because I know it goes against his moral beliefs.
- Uh…it’s kind of…guarded? Like, I think I know him! I’m pretty sure I know him! But sometimes at night, when I’m about to fall asleep, I look over, and he’s staring right at the ceiling, brooding. It’s scary. Love the guy, though!
Has your boyfriend ever considered military service?
- Ha! No, not at all. He’s staunchly anti-war. A real pacifist at heart.
- Also no, but he does really respect the troops, I guess? He always mutters something about discipline and honor when one walks by. Is that weird?
How do you get your boyfriend’s attention?
- I knock on the table in our special code, and he comes scurrying to me from wherever he was. Isn’t that cute?
- Sometimes I’ll call for him from across the room, and he won’t hear me. Then I say it in a deep, booming voice, and he kind of snaps to attention – something in his brain definitely breaks. It’s pretty effective, though!
How does your boyfriend respond to conflict?
- He doesn’t respond to shouting at all. Any time we have an argument, we make sure to take several deep breaths beforehand and hold hands the whole time.
- He’s pretty good at handling conflict, but sometimes I can tell that there’s something boiling beneath the surface in his eyes. Like he’s using every muscle not to explode. Luckily, he has cute, curly hair, though, so that diffuses the tension!
Would you have dated him if you’d met him with a shaved head?
- Of course!
- Absolutely not. Are you kidding? That guy’s a stranger to me.
RESULTS:
Mostly 1s: Your boyfriend would look cute with a buzz cut! He’s got such a warm vibe that some added focus on his angular face won’t make him seem scary or cold. Congrats, babe! You got one of the good ones. Perhaps the only one, actually!
Mostly 2s: Do not, by any means, let your boyfriend get a buzz cut. Sure, he’s sweet now, but if he shaves his head, it will sever something deep within him. He will find himself lost in the deep, evolutionary desire to kill. Maybe try a shag, though! Also, you should probably break up. Just a thought!
