QUIZ: Which Hogwarts House Would the Popular Girls Mercilessly Bully You In?

There’s nothing in your head the Sorting Hat can’t see, and no high school scenario where the popular girls don’t make your life hell – Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff and Slytherin alike. Take this short quiz to find out which Hogwarts house a beautiful teen witch would kick your ass in!


On the average day, I will most likely be made fun of for:

  1. Being too brave.
  2. Being too smart.
  3. Yellow and boring.
  4. Snakes!

My ideal wizard pet is:

  1. A dumbass lion.
  2. A raven that Popular Angela will laugh at.
  3. A rat.
  4. A bitchass snake.

On the street, other people most likely yell at me:

  1. “Hey, you brave idiot!
  2. “Stop it, ya smart blue smurf!”
  3. “Why are you here?”
  4. “Wow, Popular Angela’s snake is much cooler than yours.”

My dream wizard snack is:

  1. Magical carrot sticks that I imagine poking into my bully’s face.
  2. I skip snacks to read more books.
  3. Wizard crackers eaten quietly in a bathroom stall.
  4. A magical milkshake that I share with my only friend, my snake.

I want to return to high school because:

  1. Wait, no.
  2. Why would I ever want to do that?
  3. No thanks.
  4. …prom?





Mostly 1’s – You’re a Gryffindor, you weird brave dummy. The other Gryffindor girls would def ask why the Gryffindor red looks so period-y on you.


Mostly 2’s – You’re in Ravenclaw, ya nerd. Watch your back or Popular Angela will smack you in the face with a book.


Mostly 3’s – You’re a Hufflepuff, loser. The loyal members of this house will not be so with your weird wizard ass.


Mostly 4’s – You’re in Slytherin. Get ready to take the pain of being bullied and lash out with it later at someone else! Fun!