While many of us spend our lives looking for a partner who will complete us – our “better half,” so to speak – some of us could benefit from simply taking a look over our shoulder and seeing what’s already right behind us. Take this quiz to find out: Is your better half your boyfriend, or your ass?
Does your boyfriend get stares when he walks into a room?
- Yeah! He’s super good-looking and has a magnetic charm that always has people turning their heads whenever he enters a space.
- Totally! But he says it only happens when he’s with me and that people’s eyes kind of just graze over him before inevitably landing on my big, beautiful ass.
What would you say suits you better: your boyfriend or your ass?
- My boyfriend! His personality just complements mine perfectly – we make such a good team and he always challenges me to be a better person.
- I mean, all of my outfits would flop if I didn’t have such a nice ass to round them out…but my boyfriend is nice, too, I guess. I don’t know, it feels kind of rude to say my ass here?
What do you like about your boyfriend?
- Everything! He’s got so many good qualities that it’s hard to even list them all, but I guess I mostly like his kindness, his passion, and his unwavering devotion to those he loves.
- He’s always telling me how good my ass looks. That’s kind of the whole reason we started dating. I appreciate a man with good taste.
Be honest: How well does your ass fill out a pair of jeans?
- Pretty good, I guess. I mean, it’s nothing to write home about, but it’s not terrible either…Okay, fine, it’s terrible. Is that what you want me to say? Jeans hang off my flat, bony ass in a way that seems to almost defy the laws of physics. Are you happy now?
- Okay, it’s, like, kind of scary how well my ass fills out a pair of jeans. Like, every pair that I try on fits me perfectly. It’s like a reverse Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Don’t get me wrong, I love it, but I also fear it. Nobody should have that kind of power.
RESULTS:
Mostly 1s: Your better half is definitely your boyfriend – congrats! You’ve found someone smart, empathetic, sweet, loving, and interesting; although, he didn’t even really need to do all that because, based on how your ass looks in jeans, no one would ever consider that your better half.
Mostly 2s: It’s you and your ass against the world! Honestly, we don’t even know why your boyfriend is in the picture because all you need is a pair of well-fitting trousers and you’re an unstoppable force of nature. But if you insist on keeping your boyfriend around, at least consider bumping him off the holiday card in favor of a solo photo of you dropping it low in a bikini.
