QUIZ: Is the S.O. They’re Referring to ‘Significant Other’ or ‘Scary Octopus’?

When you have a crush on someone, determining if they’re single is important, but it can be difficult to do so, especially in a language so full of ambiguities. For instance, when that person who sets your heart aflutter references their “S.O.” do they mean their significant other or are they saying “S.O.” as in “Scary Octopus”? The implications can be serious, so take this quiz to find out!

When they mentioned their S.O., did they say where they were together?

1. I think just at home? Oh man, they might live together.
2. The aquarium, but that could really go either way.

Your crush said they’re not caught up on Euphoria because they’re watching it with their S.O. who’s been on a trip. What might we make of this?

1. Probably their partner is away so they’re waiting till they’re reunited to watch the show together. Very cute; must be nice.
2. Being overly controlling of what media someone can consume is a typical reason why an octopus might be considered scary in the first place. I’m just glad the Scary Octopus is out of town right now so my crush can get some much-needed respite.

You show them a photo of Davy Jones from Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest. What’s their reaction? 

1. They say, “Okay”, or “Oh yeah, Pirates of the Caribbean”, or “Did you know that’s Bill Nighy?”
2. They appear frozen in terror. Clearly, this is a triggering reminder of their own Scary Octopus.

Have they referred to their S.O. as anything else?

1. Yeah, they’ve also called them their partner, their boo, and August, which is their name.
2. Yes: the Terrible Mollusk, “my waking marine nightmare”, the Frightful Cephalopod, and “huge danger”.

Results:

Mostly 1’s: It’s pretty clear that their S.O. is their significant other, and it seems like you knew that. But if this provided you any sense of closure, then we’re glad to have helped.

Mostly 2’s: Okay look – we may have thought you were crazy at first, but it does actually appear that the S.O. in question is a Scary Octopus. On the bright side, you may have a shot with your crush, but on the less bright side, your crush has a Scary Octopus after them, and do you really need all that drama? Good luck!