How to Have a Fun Weekend Getaway Even Though All the Lesbians Have Already Rented All the Cabins Upstate

It’s an amazing time to get away from the city and the suburbs and rent a cozy cabin upstate! And a spontaneous weekend away can be romantic and exciting as a couple, or even with friends. But if you crack open Airbnb, you might notice that all the lesbians have already rented them out months ago, having meticulously planned their weekends since early last year. Here’s how to have a fun weekend getaway that’s not in one of those cabins:


A Beach Weekend in Montauk

While all the lesbians are deciding who will bring hummus to the socially distanced potluck upstate, why not head to the beach? It might seem too cold for a weekend on the ocean, but you can take in a gorgeous view and a brisk walk on the water while you enjoy fabulous seafood in this unpretentious fishing town. You could still maybe try to find a cabin upstate, but we promise – the lesbians already booked it.


A “Staycation” in the City

Having a hard time finding something out of the city? Why not book a “staycation” at a luxurious hotel in the city? Several luxe hotels offer a private spa experience and even indoor pools to enjoy. The lesbians will be busy chopping wood for the fire and enjoying the quiet calm of the falling snow, so you won’t find any lesbians at the James or the Standard – except maybe Kristen Stewart or Cara Delevigne, who do not count.



A Trailer Near the Lesbians

So all of the cozy cabins with a wood fireplace were booked for a socially distanced folk and roots festival outside of Tuxedo – don’t worry! Try renting a gorgeous rehabbed trailer on the property just down the road from the lesbians. It may not have all the amenities of a cabin, but you can still sort of enjoy the beauty of winter from a “cozy” Millennial trailer, designed to be kitschy but still cost a lot of money. Just don’t get too close to the lesbians – they are willing to fight to protect their land, and a few of them are already on edge after a really tense discussion with their partners about the meaning of “care”.


And there you have it! Just because you didn’t book that cabin early enough doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy a winter getaway – we all have our priorities, and clearly, the lesbians have prioritized this way more than you did!