Summer is here! And with it comes leggings with the boldest thigh-amplifying patterns. We sent out our quad patrol to see which designs will add some thunder to those thighs.
Floral
Big flowers = big results. That 16-year-old Urban Outfitter’s model doesn’t have thighs, but you sure do, and these leggings will forever remind you of that. Great for an outdoor picnic where you’ll feel self-conscious about eating.
Pinstripe
Do you have more than an inch of muscle surrounding your femurs? Perfect! Then these horizontal stripes are guaranteed to bend in a way that makes it look like your loins are going to burst right out of the fabric. Perfect for those days when you’re “dressing for you and not some man” or are looking for that rare guy who “cares more about personality.”
Camo
Think you can camouflage your hams in these cute leggings? Think again. Unless you are literally standing in a bush, these leggings will do nothing but ambush onlookers with your massive thighs. Best for days when you want any kind of attention – positive or negative.
Geometric
Like a Magic Eye, these patterns look fun up-close, but from a distance, they are hideous, flank-stretching optical illusions. These patterns are a great way to look young, innocent and naïve as to your own appearance – which some guys might be into!
Metallic
Shiny. Gleaming. Reflective. Set those thighs aglow with cool metallic patterns meant to be worn by rock stars with the bodies of 14-year-old boys. For letting people know “I did a lot of theater in high school but was never the lead” even before you inevitably exclaim “I did a lot of theater in high school!”
Whatever your style, there’s a patterned legging to highlight it while also highlighting the area you usually want to hide most – your thighs!
