Vanessa H. Coleman had been counting down the days until her birthday, a day she’d planned to have the most fun out of the whole year. However, her excitement quickly dwindled when she realized that the whole point of her birthday is that she’s turning a year older.
Yikes! Why did no one warn her?
“I guess I thought birthdays were just days when you get to celebrate yourself,” Vanessa said. “But when someone asked me how old I was turning, I felt my whole world crashing down around me.”
Others close to Vanessa weren’t entirely sure what to do when she got emotional in the middle of her Y2K-themed party, but they tried to help her the best they could.
“She was really confused,” Noelle Fischer, Vanessa’s close friend, said. “I’m not sure if she ever recovered from the devastating blow of realizing that today is her birthday, and that it isn’t just a day where she gets to do whatever she wants.”
“I guess I should’ve known there was a catch,” Vanessa said, after collecting herself. “I don’t know why I thought it was just my special day for no reason. I was so naive before I turned — Oh my god, sorry, I need a second.”
Following her statement, Vanessa left to go sulk in the corner of her apartment.
“She was so happy before someone brought up the topic of age,” another close friend of Vanessa’s, Kinsey Narine, said. “She was literally dancing on a table and yelling, ‘I’m going to live forever!’ over and over again. I thought she was just exaggerating and having fun, but I guess she really meant that shit.”
As she should!
Despite that sadness that set in as soon as Vanessa counted how many years she’s been alive, she did express gratitude for the happiness she felt beforehand.
“Even though I was blindsided by aging another year on my birthday,” Vanessa told reporters. “I’m glad I got to experience the pure, unbridled joy of wearing a plastic birthday tiara. Honestly, it was too much power. The world needs balance, after all.”
At press time, Vanessa was coping with her new age by planning her next birthday party, which will be a sweet sixteen even though she’s a grown adult.
