Mom Announces Tissue Is Clean, It’s Just Been In Her Purse

After her daughter sneezed twice at lunch Saturday, Massachusetts mom Mary Hurler offered a tissue, clarifying that yes, it was clean, it had just been in her purse.


“She started earnestly waving this crumpled-up memory of a tissue at me,” recounted daughter Ellie Hurler. “I didn’t even need a tissue, and I tried telling her that, but she just kept trying to give it to me.”


Following the initial offer, Mary tried to demonstrate the tissue’s remaining usability by uncrumpling the single Puffs Plus, laying it out on the table in front of her, and attempting to press the wrinkles out of it with her hand.


When she finally finished flattening it out, she held it up and said, “There, see, it’s clean I just had it in my purse. Don’t worry, there’s more where this came from.”


“She just kept holding it up and flipping it around to show me that there was no snot or anything on it,” recalled Ellie. “I didn’t think that she was lying about it being used, but I still did not want or need the tissue. I actually wanted to talk to her about some money issues, but she was really stuck on the tissue.”


With still no validation from her daughter, Mary began to offer the facial napkin to other patrons of the Italian chain restaurant where they were dining, repeating the pitch she had given her daughter.


“We were discussing whether it was time to buy a new crockpot, when this lady leaned over from the table next to us and offered us this wrinkly tissue,” added Valerie. “When we declined her offer, she just kept holding it up and explaining that it was clean. She even held open her purse to show us that was clean, too.”


“I believed her,” added her boyfriend Larry, “But I still did not want it.”



Despite her multiple rejections and absolutely no inquiries, Mary reportedly decided to address the rest of the eatery’s diners, announcing, “This tissue is clean, if anybody wants it, I just had it in my purse. But it’s clean, so just let me know. I have more in my purse too, if you need.”


At press time, Mary offered this reporter the tissue, stating that despite its appearance, it was in fact clean, and its less-than-ideal appearance was only due to the fact that it had been stored loose in her purse.