Reports out of Madison, WI have confirmed that your friend Lydia isn’t mad at all, seriously; she actually thinks what you said is really funny.
“Haha, yeah, I know some people would be offended about you making light of their most upsetting insecurity,” said Lydia. “But I know that you were just joking! That’s why I’m super not angry at all haha.”
Lydia went on to explain her feelings about the joke, smiling in a way that made it impossible to distinguish whether she was genuinely happy or just like stifling a boiling, red hot rage or whatever.
“No, no, seriously, you bringing up that time in college when I found out I had HPV and skipped my next class to sob for two hours straight, that actually was hilarious to me!” said Lydia.
Hahaha, right. We get it.
“Now everyone knows how much of a very, very funny jokester you are!” she added, while either holding in a laugh or seething.
Witnesses to the situation are skeptical.
“Lydia is obviously very mad,” said Trent Williams, a fellow partygoer. “But I appreciate that she’s trying to keep the vibes positive.”
“Oh yeah, she’s pissed without a doubt. I would be too,” added Delores Hingham, another partier. “She’s honestly handling it better than I would, I think there are some people here who actually believe that she thinks that deep cut was funny.”
“But I’ve known Lydia for years, she’s for sure livid and certainly did not think it was funny,” Delores added. “What a fake laugh.”
But Lydia is insistent.
“HAHAHA OH MY GOD! NO, THAT WAS SO SO FUNNY!” she said when you pulled her aside to privately apologize. “No need to be sorry, I’m absolutely not mad in the least!!”
“Just wait til the next time I make a funny joke, haha!” Lydia added, not even attempting to veil the obvious threat.