Puffs Announces New Facial Tissue Completely Made Out of Lotion

This week Puffs Facial Tissues announced a groundbreaking new product, a facial tissue made completely out of lotion. The tissue, called the Puffs Plus Lotion Plus, is the first tissue of its kind and at 100% lotion, easily boasts more lotion per tissue than any other facial tissue on the market.


In a statement released earlier this afternoon, a spokesperson for the company revealed that Puffs hopes to, “Rid the world of uncomfortable dry redness from tissue use, for good.”


For years, Puffs and its competitors have been producing tissues with small amounts of lotion incorporated into the ply in the hopes of soothing the chapped feeling that often accompanies consecutively using many tissues, in cases of illness or allergies. Products like the Kleenex 3-Ply Lotion Facial Tissue, Angel Soft Lotion Facial Tissue, and even Puffs Plus Lotion have been a major market improvement, but the company still believed they could do better.


“We strive to provide maximum moisture and minimum nose redness for the foreseeable future,” said Puffs’ spokesperson. “We found that using small amounts of lotion in the tissues only soothed to a certain degree. It only follows that a lot of lotion and zero friction from tissue paper will soothe a whole lot more.”



Results from early testers of Puffs Plus Lotion Plus came back with mixed results. One reviewer described the results as, “greasy”, “sloppy” and “just a bunch of lotion.” Others were less than satisfied with the new product: “I had a lot of trouble getting it out of the box,” says one, “Do not store in rooms above 31 degrees.” Then there are those who raved about the new product: “Thanks to Puffs Plus Lotion Plus, no one is staring at my painful-looking runny nose—because I am covered in lotion.”


The spokesperson at Puffs says the market will come around to the innovation, stating, “Whether you have a cold or you just like the powerful moisturizing power of pure lotion, Puffs Plus Lotion Plus is the perfect tissue for you.”


Puffs Plus Lotion Plus tissues are set for launch in early December this year. When asked what is next for Puffs, their spokesperson said they could make no official statements, but that the soothing power of Vicks VapoRub is about to get a whole lot spicier.