In a story that highlights one woman’s relentless pursuit of excellence and dedication to her craft, 26-year-old Jensen Woods told her boss she has to take time off of work due to a family emergency because she did actually have a family emergency.
Wow! She’s gone so method that she’s gotten lost in the role!
“I walked in on Jensen crying last night,” her roommate, Matt Destefano, told reporters. “She asked for my advice about getting out of work for a family emergency, and I said she should just make up some lie about going to her grandma’s funeral or something. She replied, ‘Yeah. I am going to my grandma’s funeral.’ Can you believe that? She’s already so deep in the character that she thinks it’s true.”
Sources confirm Jensen’s grandmother, with whom she is extremely close, did actually die last night. Whether Jensen will be nominated by the Academy for her work in this role remains to be announced.
“This is the furthest I’ve seen anyone go to play the role of ‘someone who has a family emergency,’” Matt continued. “She’s been crying for hours. Even when I’m not watching. I installed a camera in the living room just to make sure she wouldn’t drop the act as soon as I left. I wonder if she’s going to have permanently red eyes or something, like the guy who played Elvis and couldn’t stop doing the voice.”
Just as other method actors lose or gain dozens of pounds to get deeper into the psyche of their characters, Jensen appears to have lost about a pound from just being really, really sad.
“Our grandmother really did die,” Jensen’s sister, Riannon, told reporters with extremely red eyes. “Why do you guys keep looking at me like that when I say it? Like you’re impressed or something? She really did pass away, and it’s taken the family by horrible surprise.”
So, the whole family is going method just to corroborate Jensen’s act? Talk about “it takes a village!”
As far as whether her method acting has proven successful, Jensen’s boss – skincare marketing mogul Keenan White – said, “I found her performance to be less than compelling. It was just too much, you know? Didn’t believe it for a second.” Sources confirm he immediately denied the request for PTO.
Maybe try a more believable lie next time, babe!
