24-year-old Franny Meyers is clearly already knee-deep in holiday spirit, having switched out her regular lattes in favor of peppermint mochas, and her Zoloft in favor of Hallmark Christmas movies.
Okay, yes, harness that Yuletide cheer!
“I don’t know if swapping my Zoloft with Hallmark movies is helping me manage my depression in a healthy way, but it’s definitely doing something,” Franny said. “If anything, I have a better idea of what Christmas at Pemberley Manor would be like, which is definitely good for my mental health, I think.”
Franny has also taken to saying, “It’s that time of year again!” to unwitting friends and family who don’t know that by “that time of year” she means the time of year she recklessly goes off her medication in favor of movies about whirlwind Christmas romances.
Doctors have universally deemed this to be an unsafe way to stop taking your antidepressants, but if you do it, you should start with the ones about Christmas princes first.
“They’re the best ones,” they explained, offering no further details.
Franny says this has become something of a holiday tradition for her.
“I also replace exercising with baking cookies that look like snowballs,” she told reporters. “And going outside with sitting by the dim light of a peppermint-scented candle, breathing its fumes.”
Aw, cute! That’s the spirit!
She continued, saying, “The fumes are great for thinking about candy canes and quietly weeping for the bygone winters of my youth.”
That’s less of the spirit, but whatever works for you, girl!
When asked how Hallmark Christmas movies could possibly act as a suitable replacement for prescription antidepressants, Franny was more than happy to explain.
“Think about it like this: Zoloft helps with overthinking; Hallmark movies help with what if we kissed on Christmas. Get it?”
When reporters still didn’t quite understand, Franny elaborated.
“Christmas contests, calendars, mix-ups, engagements, trains, secrets, sister swaps, scavenger hunts – these are all things Hallmark Christmas movies helped me come to terms with,” she said. “Zoloft just helps decrease my anxiety and prevent my panic attacks. Which, yes, is ultimately good, but it’s just not really in the spirit of the holidays.”
As of press time, Franny still had about 387 Hallmark movies to burn through, which, at her current rate, would take her right up until she actually has to go home for the holidays, where she says she will be reintegrating Zoloft back into her routine posthaste.
