While some people, mainly celebrities, seem to stretch the truth about what they did to achieve their perfect skin or bodies, it looks like this nefarious practice has trickled all the way down to our nation’s youth, namely Kayla Harris, a 14-month-old baby who has assured everyone that the only reason she has perfect skin is because she drinks lots of water.
Sure…whatever you say, Kayla!
Members of the infant’s family originally tipped off reporters about the situation, hoping to finally pressure her into admitting her skincare secret.
“I just think that there’s a special place in Hell for people who don’t give up their routines to less-flawless-skinned people,” the baby’s aunt, Paloma Harris, said. “And let’s just say Kayla is probably on that list. I don’t care that she’s a baby — it’s still true!”
“Even though every time I ask her about her skincare she just shakes around her water cup,” 20-year-old cousin Monica said, “I know she’s hiding a bottle of Cosrx Advanced Snail 96 Mucin Power Essence somewhere, or the fact that her mom takes her to get a chemical peel at least once a month.”
You’re not fooling anyone, honey!
Sources also suspect that the people closest to Kayla are being bribed to protect her privacy.
“I even asked her mom what her secret is,” Aunt Paloma told reporters. “But she must’ve been paid off or something because she just told me, ‘She’s a baby! All babies look like that!’ Yeah right, bitch!”
Wow, can you trust anyone to tell you what cleanser they use anymore?
Despite not being able to form full sentences, Kayla has maintained the same answer from the very beginning, saying “wa-wa” or shaking her water bottle when asked about what she does for such clear skin.
“I thought I could accept my grandchild no matter what,” Kayla’s grandmother Hattie said. “But I draw the line at keeping skincare secrets. That’s not how things are done in this family, and I formally retract my offer of unlimited free babysitting.”
At press time, Kayla’s family has gone back to the drawing board to rethink their own skincare routines by themselves, with no help from Kayla, but many of them have vowed to not give her a birthday present unless she stops gatekeeping what kind of moisturizer she uses.