After a brief yet enlightening interview, Hank Minster, founder of the software startup TechWare, wants to know exactly why you would be so excited to join the team at his shitty company.
“We’re just looking for someone to be our lead customer representative at this fucking depressing sham of a company,” said Hank. “I don’t really understand what she was so enthusiastic about.”
Despite the fact that you’d find the job itself to be mind-numbingly boring and the office to be vaguely depressing for no particular reason you can surmise, Hank still dared to ask you for more information as to why this would be a dream job for you.
After mumbling semi-passionately for 40 seconds about you loving the office culture and always having had a passion for software, Hank then asked you a follow-up to his follow-up question.
“Well, TechWare doesn’t actually deal with the software, we sell it,” explained Hank. “You are aware that this job kind of sucks, right?”
The others present at your interview confirm that you did manage to bullshit your way to an adequate answer.
At the end of the interview, Hank told you some “good news.”
“I want to bring you back for a final round interview with the CFO,” says Hank. “Be prepared to talk at length about software. Also, I wanted you to know we don’t offer health benefits for lower-level employees at this time, so you should probably stop smiling. It’s not worth it.”
