Aw! Instead of Saying He Wants to Fuck His Co-Worker, This Guy Just Calls Her His ‘Work Wife’

office sexual harassment

Sam Ringgold has a fun little office game he likes to play with his dearest coworker. Instead of admitting he is into his coworker, Maya Harthorn, he instead refers to her constantly as his “work wife.”


“At first I didn’t know what the fuck he was talking about,” says Ringgold’s buddy, Jesse Levit. “But then he showed me a picture and I was like, ‘Oh, he wants to fuck her.’”


“We always bounce ideas off each other,” say Ringgold, who recently ran all of his 27 ideas by Harthorn for naming a new teambuilding initiative over lunch. “It’s like a marriage, but in a work way.”


Aw, it’s so cute that he thinks he doesn’t want to fuck her!


“People think we’re flirting all the time,” says Harthorn. “But I’m not into Sam and I have an actual husband at home. I can’t really get away from him since we work right across from each other. It’s pretty clear he wants to fuck me, though.”


In a recent meeting in front of their entire 17-person team, Ringgold responded to a question with, “Hold on, I’m gonna have to run that by my work wife. Maya?”



“That was really uncomfortable on a lot of levels,” says Harthorn. “You know, now that I think of it, he doesn’t have any ‘female friends’ in the office at all.”


Aw, that’s because you’re special and also that he doesn’t find them attractive, Maya!


“I definitely get on her nerves sometimes,” says Ringgold. “But that’s to be expected in a work marriage.”