Like many women this election season, I want my vote to lift up other women, especially women of my own generation who lack opportunity in this country. That’s why I’m voting with my vagina—and also why I am voting for Rob’s dick.
If you think I’m making a decision based on emotion instead of facts, I’m going to have to disagree. First, let me point out that Rob’s dick is objectively the best thing that’s happened to my vagina, and could be an amazing asset to others, if given the opportunity.
Not every woman has had the kind of opportunity that Rob’s dick has afforded me. Ever since we fucked last week, I’ve seen a dramatic change in my self-confidence, my earnings potential, and knowing that as a woman, I have a choice. I have a choice if we want to do it standing up, or kind of halfway on the couch, or in the back of the car if he puts the seats down. Rob’s dick has shown me that as a woman, I have the right to voice my own opinion, even if I choose not to and instead opt to have sex outside where there are people around.
You might be saying, “It’s selfish of you to vote so narrowly for your own self-interests,” and “Rob’s dick isn’t running for elected office,” but just so you know, Rob does not discriminate against any gender, race, color or creed. Rob will literally fuck anyone.
Who’s the last candidate who has said that on the campaign trail?
On experience: Rob has spent over 10 years’ working at Staples, while his dick has spent over five years with my cousin’s friend Debra before the one-night stand we had at Tim’s party last Friday. This proves that he is willing to go above and beyond for a women’s right to get fucked super hard, but like in a good way.
But I know there are issues on the line as well. So if you’re concerned about your reproductive rights, keep in mind that Rob’s dick had a vasectomy at 28.
And this isn’t just about domestic issues: Rob’s dick will fuck any country to the point where they will either totally fall in love or become really good fuck buddies or even just do over-the-pants stuff until Rob gets bored. Do you seriously think Bernie Sanders could do that?
Seriously, you guys have to fuck Rob.
#RobsDick2016
This endorsement is not paid for or supported by Rob or Rob’s tremendous dick.
