Quinoa is known for being rich in protein, high in fiber, and full of B vitamins and minerals. Ever since I first tried quinoa, I fell in love with it. But that was until the fateful day when it finally betrayed me.
Just yesterday, I was watching Youtube videos on my laptop while eating a nutritious quinoa bowl for lunch, when all of a sudden, I got the urge to sneeze. “No big deal,” I thought. But how naive I was.
I sneezed, and when I tell you that the quinoa was everywhere, I mean everywhere.
I spent hours trying to get rid of it all. Not only was it on my laptop screen, but it was also wedged between the keys on my keyboard, stuck to the carpet, and even in my hair.
After this traumatic experience, how am I supposed to eat healthy grains now?
Quinoa had changed my life, supplying me with the nutrients I needed every day. But yesterday, it changed my life for the worse, and now I can’t even stomach going into Whole Foods again.
They say that quinoa’s a superfood, but they never tell you that it’ll ruin your life if you sneeze while there’s a bunch of it in your mouth. Let this be a warning for anyone who was as ignorant about that as I once was.
I’m still cleaning quinoa out of the corners of my apartment, and just when I think it’s all gone, I immediately find another one. I literally can’t relax, and maybe I never will.
Sure, maybe I could’ve swallowed the quinoa before I sneezed, or maybe I couldn’t have taken a smaller bite of it, but the damage is done, and I’m trying my absolute best to heal now.
At this point, I just want everyone to know how dangerous quinoa can be. I wouldn’t want anyone to be in the situation that I’m in right now, and I doubt you’d want to be in it either. My life is completely ruined, and it’s all quinoa’s fault.
Yeah, that’s right, I’m going back to amaranth.
